Catching Up!!

Hey Haute Crew and welcome back!! It has truly been a while since I uploaded a post or a podcast and today I am going to tell you why. So I was speaking with an old friend the other day catching up on life and he asked me how my brand was going. I proceeded to tell him how I haven’t been inspired lately to write anything. A lot of what I talked about was my battle of trying to deal with my divorce, anxiety, and depression. I told him I focused on finding ways to use what I was going through to encourage someone else to keep pushing too, hoping to show them that it is possible to deal with life even in the hardest and darkest of times and to not give up. I told him it’s a struggle for me now because I am not angry nor do I feel broken anymore. I have realized and accepted that season of my life for what it was, a season of growth and maturity. Though I hated the process (season) I really tried to do my best to get everything out of it that I was supposed to. But I am honest, fear and doubt do their best to bring me back to a place that would cause me to believe I haven’t grown and nothing has changed. However things have happened recently and “old” De’Nita would not have handled it with the same level of grace nor maturity as “new” De’Nita did. So my friend then proceeded to tell me his suggestion and I kindly informed him that I had already done a post similar to the one he suggested but that expressing where I am now would be a good post so here I am lol. I don’t want to be naïve and think that I will never have another hard day that will try to make me question everything I believe; but I also know that I am not in the dark place I was almost a year ago either. I have the experience to know that God brought me through that and He will bring me through anything new that comes my way. Life looks a lot different to me now. I was talking to one of my sisters and I was telling her everything I was dealing with right now [two possible cancer diagnosis in two separate family members, two separate trips to the ER and having someone be admitted to the hospital, and moving (all of this with in less than 7 days of each other)]. She said to me, “Girl I don’t know how you deal” and I laughed and said to her, “after everything I went through, this is easy to deal with”. If I am honest part of me never thought I’d actually see the day I’d be able to say that and actually mean and believe it lol!! However, I had to lose my family, best friends, and my “mind”/masks to find me. Under every mask I created since I was molested at 4 years old, and there were plenty of them, was an individual literally dying to be freed. It took 25 years’ worth of experiences to create the woman I am today and though I would never want to relive most of the experiences, I can honestly thank God for what each one taught me about me. I’ve said it before but it’s worth saying again, growth is not easy but it is definitely worth it. In loosing people I learned I was too dependent of people’s opinions and not dependent enough on God and his love for me. I also learned to not be afraid to loose people because their departure is not always permanent and what you learn about you while they are away can be just what you need to help them and you build better lives as individuals and in your relationships (marriage, family, and friends). We must remember God makes no mistakes. As hard as it is to do you must let go of your own will to control the situation/process and just trust God and his process. Trust God and wait on his timing, he’s working things out for you!! While I was declaring and decreeing a restoring and reconciliation of my family, and claiming great things to happen in my life, my finances, and my relationships, I had a hard time really believing it and trusting God for it; but after all I’ve been through I do now so I want to declare and decree the same for you in Jesus name!! I plead the blood of Jesus over each and every one of you now and declare and decree that it is so, in Jesus name!! Do you believe that today? Trust me you, must get that down in your spirit and watch God come thru like never before!! I'm a living witness he's able to do it!!

Until next time keep God first, find your God given lane in life (purpose), get in it, and enjoy the ride!! Love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself!! Be blessed!! 💋💋👸🏾👸🏾