Updated: Aug 9, 2018
Hello Haute Queens (and Kings) and welcome back!! Thanks so much for stopping by!! Today I want to celebrate my Princess on her special day. You may be thinking, what does this have to do with motivation; but trust me, it all goes together. Six years ago today God blessed me with her and if I am honest, I was nervous. Yes I had tons of support, and me and her father were together and doing really well. But I knew that it was my responsibility to ensure that I instilled in my daughter everything she needed to become successful. Honestly that thought alone scared me. As time went on and my life started to fall apart, one thing remained a constant, the love I had for my daughter. There were days when the pain of everything was so bad and honestly death seemed like a better option, her smile was a light to me. Her laugh is definitely contagious and she's always filled with a joy that you wish you could tap into. Even on days when she's sad for one reason or another, she finds a way to make you smile while you're trying to cheer her up. She's truly an angel. I have been very open about my battle with depression and suicidal thoughts in past posts and I remember a period of time where I actually felt like no one would miss me. I was on my way home from work and I had been battling in my mind trying to pull myself out of the pit I was in and failing drastically at it. I finally reached the house and as I opened the door, my Princess let out the biggest yell of "Mommy!!" with giggles and a big smile I had ever heard from her!! She took off running to meet me at the door. As I reached down to hug her I realized that she would miss me. I thought back on the days she cried for her dad and realized that he was still alive but if I was gone she would never get the chance again to see me. I did not want that to be a pain she had to carry as well. I learned in that moment to change my perspective. I told myself that just like my mother was my example and pushed through her pain as best as she could to raise me I had to do the same thing for her. My want to be my daughter's best example became my motivation to be the best me possible. I want to be able to show her that you can do more than survive anything, you can overcome it!! With God as your center and your source, you can do all things, even things that seem impossible. With that as my foundation, I strive everyday to be the best me I can for my daughter. I don't always get it right but I'm embracing the growth that comes from the process.
So my Princess is my motivation. I have accomplished a lot since I had her (with help from God) obtaining not one but three collage degrees (finishing each one at the top of my class), starting a business; and the two most important to me, becoming comfortable in my own skin and being vulnerable enough to share my story with the world in hopes it will save someone who feel just like I did. I accomplished all of that and so much more all while being in the hardest fight of my life AND being a single mother. She was and still is my biggest motivation. One day I hope she'll read this post and understand that she's a true blessing. On her hardest day, I want her to know that she has purpose and has been walking in her purpose since she was born. I know God has great things in store for her and I can't wait to see them manifest!!
My daughter saved my life #realtalk. I will never be able to thank God enough for blessing me with her. I just pray that I am "making God proud" with the way that I raise her.
What motivates you? Is it your pain and your hurt? Is it the desire to be the best you possible? Is it a person? Whatever it is, make sure it is a healthy motivation that will lead you to positivity and not farther down a road of bitterness and hate. You owe it to yourself to be the version of you God called you to be and you can't be that hiding behind your pain, fears, past failures, or hurts. You are only able to move forward when you embrace what those things are trying to get out of you. Then and only then is it possible to move to the next level. If you don't have a motivating force or something that drives you, find one!! Wanting to be the best example possible for my daughter has helped me in ways I never thought possible. I've learned to love myself FLAWS and ALL!! Like I said in my last post, you can't expect others to love and value you if you won't do it for yourself first. It also allowed me to let go of things and fears I'd been embracing for far to long. Now of course this is coupled with embracing God's love for me and walking in the love and freedom He gives as I live life in the lane He's called me to. I would be nothing without Him.
So again what motivates you? Leave me a comment and share your story with me!! I'd love to hear from you!! Until next time.... keep God first, find your God given lane in life (purpose), get in it, and enjoy the ride!! Love God, your neighbor, but don't forget to also love yourself!! In that order!! Be blessed!! 💋💋👸🏾👸🏾